Promise? and self-actualization?

Shocking, yes, I know. Seeing me again so soon. It was bound to happen sooner or later. I mean, I do pay for this site lol. It would be a waste of money to just let it sit unused for as long as I have. Which is sort of me calling myself out, when you really think about it.

But we’re moving on from that. Fuck dude. I just talked to my manager last week about scheduling me for less lunch shifts, which he did on this most recent schedule. Which is great. Except that the girl I mentioned that just started working there? She only works lunch, and it’s kind of hard to talk to someone when you don’t really work shifts with them. So I’m forced with having to talk to my manager again and being like, “Hey, remember when I said schedule me for less lunch shifts? Yeah, if you could forget about that and put me on some more lunch shifts, that’d be great. Thanks.” Of course that would raise suspicion and I can’t outright ask him to schedule me more shifts with her. So I just need to walk back what I said. Fuck me.

I was also way too high last night when the schedule came out and I immediately started to plan out what days I could trade with whom (is that right? who cares?) to get more lunch shifts. But I don’t know dude, is that too far? Knowing me I’m not even going to be able to fucking talk to her because I’ll clam up and be awkward. The only thing I’ve got is that her friend said she spoke highly of me and that she (the actual person, not her friend) thinks I’m funny. My hesitance on this matter comes from the fact that you can force these things to happen, and that there will be more time to build a friendship. But, it does go faster when you’re around each other more often. I don’t think I’d be as friendly with the other main lunch server if I hadn’t been on so many lunch shifts with them. That’s why this is my frame of reference for this plan. But I just don’t know dude. I. I need to take action in my life. I can’t let these things slip idly by. I’ve done that for my whole life so far. Just letting things be, and hoping for the best. Never really taking the initiative. But not this time. Probably lol. I will actively try to take a better role in my destiny.

God, that sounds lame as hell when I write it out, but the general sentiment is there.

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