October

Do I have another post already titled, “October?” Because if I do, oh well. It’s October again.

That’s it. That’s the post. It’s fucking october and nothing feels any more put together than it did back in March. I miss people. Let me rephrase that, I miss my people. My friends. I jokingly say that they all abandoned me, which is so far from the truth. I guess I use it as a sort of coping mechanism. A way for me to defer this emptiness that pops up all the time.

But damn, sometimes it sets in real deep and there’s not much you can do to defend against it. What do I deserve? Yes, I know that that sounds like a pointed question, which is because it is. I need to figure out somethings about me. You’d think I’d have done that by now, which all the retrospection and whatnot. But alas, here I am. Still wondering.

I will admit that I have gotten better with the. I don’t even know where I was going to go with that, because it was a bullshit lie. I can’t say that I have one hundred percent gotten better about things. There are days when maybe, the issue at hand isn’t quite to the level that it was at before. But I don’t know my dude. Here I am, blogging to no one. That doesn’t quite sound like you’ve got it all figured out, now does it?

And maybe I do, or maybe I don’t. That remains to be seen, I don’t think anyone ever has it figured it out, I think it’s all one big lie in the end. But, hey, that’s the way it goes.

I’ll catch ya on the flip side, ❤