Rejection Redux (but maybe not?)

that fruitless harvest
that bountiful charade
all of that,
and yet, somehow nothing rings true

Why do I doubt
why do the words I choose

Fuck it, this is going nowhere. I’ve got no rhyme to say, no story to tell. No profound statement, just a sad and lonely version of me.

tell me, why do I find a way to fail. Why is it that when I think things are going right, that they never do? Why do I constantly see signs of hope and love when there were never any.

Why? Why? Why? What good does it do to hold out onto hope. Hope, that with my luck will never come and I will never see. Hope, it’s great, and it’s wack. It’s the all powerful guiding force.

Yet it always seems to lead me nowhere. But sometimes, that nowhere is precisely where I shouldn’t be. It’s honestly such a struggle, I cannot see why I fight.

I never did have much of a chance, a dream, yes. But, a chance, nay. That was never in the cards for me.

Though, I suppose that brings you to wonder why I’m here tonight. Multitude of reasons, truly. But we’ll only cover one of them tonight. I find that to be the most pressing. Though I wouldn’t even say it was pressing, “pressing” denotes some form of inherent distress. And there is none of that here, only me.

Anyway, the reason I’ve gathered you here tonight is that I had a friend over last night. Yes, I know, that’s incredibly vague. But hey, you should be used to that from me by, right? Anyway, as I was saying, Bridgett and I went to HEB after class. I had some groceries to pick up, and she wanted to accompany me. It was nice.

Anyhoo, after that we’re hanging around at my place, chitchatting, drinking wine, eating crackers and cheese, you know how it goes. And I just don’t know how to process this. Like, I know there’s nothing between, I’ve been down that path. But also, like, what if there is? I thought I had it all cleared out. Which, in my defense, I did. But now, I just don’t know man. I think I’ll take this one easy, and see where it goes. Like I said, I already cleared up that route, so I’m not going to rush into this one.

Cause bottom line, we’re just really good friends. And I will always be cool with that. Life’s funny when you get down to it. Oh well, what can one do. I’d say I should get going as I’ve got something to do, but we both know that’s a lie. So I’ll just get going, I’ve said all I can say right now, so thanks for listening my faithful reader. I’ll be back soon with another story from my life.

Love ya ❤

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