Falling Redux

Hey, it’s me, ya boy. Yes, I know it’s been a while since we’ve last talked. I apologize for that, I’m just in a rut. But hey, what else is new? This is just how I live now?

Well, that isn’t quite true, that’s just how I am when I’m in Austin. But, if I’m not the best version of myself while I’m here, than I don’t know dude. It’s just this cyclical nature of my life. I go back to San Antonio, and I’m emotionally stable but I’m bored out of my fucking mind. Then, like a switch Austin has this magical ability to just ruin me, I don’t know how it does it. Damn, devil city. Anyway, what I’m trying to say about this place, is that despite the heartache and general trauma that this place has inflicted upon me, I love it here. It’s for lack of a better word, because honestly, there is no better word, my home. My friends are here, my better family.

But that’s not the intent of why I started out this post. And there’s still plenty that’s weighing down on me, but I don’t want to get into those details today, definitely best for another time.

Anyway, the reason that we are gathered here today is… Why the fuck does it even matter, I’m here now and that’s all that really matters, right? Where was I? Oh, yeah. If you couldn’t tell by the title, I’m falling/have fallen for somebody. I wouldn’t really say that I’m currently “falling” for them as I’m like 80% certain of my feelings for her. That other 20% is like a backup safety feature where I can abort if and when this doesn’t work out. Because, I mean, just look at my track record, I’m abysmal at this.

So what I’m trying to say is, if you couldn’t tell, because well, I mean, I’ve never been that good at hiding how I feel about people. I wear my heart on my sleeve quite often. Anyhow, I really like this Bridgett, but I can’t quite get a read on whether she likes me or not. It’s hard to say. Like I’m 90% certain that she doesn’t have the same feelings for me that I do for her. Story of my life, am I right? But I just can’t pinpoint, like every now and then there’s a glimpse that maybe she does? I wish this was more straightforward. And yes, i know that it varies. But please, don’t lecture me on that. I know where I stand.

I guess that’s it for now, I’ve got a bus to catch in a little bit, I’ll catch ya on the flip side my faithful listener. I do truly appreciate you being here for me, it means a lot. ❤ 🙂

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