Crisis of Self

Will’s Note: I was digging through my drafts of posts that haven’t gone out. I found this complete from around late October of 2017, I believe. No idea why it never went out. Anyhoo, here it is, enjoy this previously unseen look at the insight that is my mind.

 

I don’t know who I am. Now, yes, I know what that sounds like. But it’s so much more than that. I truly don’t know who I am anymore. You know how, when you were younger, you had “different” versions of yourself? There would be the “school” you, and the “friend” you, but even still that would be delineated depending on which group of friends you were hanging out with. I’m at the point where I’m trying to reconcile all these “my-selves” into one person, and that’s where I think this crisis of Self is coming from.

Now, don’t get me wrong, there’s so much more than just that at play. I’m a mess. I’m falling apart in so many different ways it isn’t even funny. First off, there was my failed attempt at job hunting. I think I applied to twenty some odd places for a job, that was at the start of the semester mind you; it’s mid-October and I’m still unemployed. So, that’s fun. Certainly has the way of making you feel validated and worth something to society. And to add to it, one of the places I applied to, I went in for an interview where they said they would call me back later that night. That was August, and one of my friends was able to get a job there and quit it before I was even able to get one. Granted, I still don’t have one, but that’s besides the point. And I don’t want it to seem like I’m mad at her for getting a job, nothing could be further from the truth. Whatever, I guess I’m just chronically unemployable, what a skill to have. Any idea how marketable that one is?

Hint: not very

And then, to make it even worse, I’m currently looking for housing for next year, right? Well, boy oh boy, what a doozy.  You find a house that you really like, and then it’s done. This is a level of stress that I wouldn’t wish upon anyone. And what do ya know, I’m experiencing it. Woo!

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