Alright, so I guess this is also a cooking blog too. As I said before, you’re gonna get unfiltered slice of life William whenever I actually bother to post.
Anyway, as for the recipe, I call this Bastard Carbonara, now if this is a little too vulgar for you, then feel free to call it Broke Carbonara or something akin to that. Now as for the recipe. Start with dicing up a whole shallot, you can do more if you want, but one is generally pretty good. And then slice up a half-pound of turkey bacon, you can use pork bacon if you want, or if you’re so inclined then I suppose Soy Bacon(if that exists, I’m sure it does though.) Now in a large or medium skillet, but much more likely whatever you have on hand, start cooking the bacon at around low-medium or something like that. At some point when the bacon starts to crisp a little add in the diced shallots. Oh, and before I forget, throw in some chopped or minced garlic, whatever is easier for you. As for how much, I’ll leave that up to you, but I use a fair amount. As this is cooking make sure to stir it around every so often so that the flavors get to know each other well and that none of it burns and sticks to the pan.
Now that we have that going, we should probably start by bringing water to a boil for the pasta, though you may have wanted to do that earlier as water tends to take forever to boil, I know, it’s really dumb. Anyway, when you get the water boiling you’re going to want to throw in three packs of ramen, doesn’t matter what kind, but as the alternate title is “Broke Carbonara,” the cheaper the better. For maximum authenticity. Yes, you can use actual pasta too like fettuccine or spaghetti. I’ll let you decide, but remember cheap ramen makes this authentic “Broke carbonara.”
Now that the pasta is cooked, strained, and set aside for later use. It’s time to make the carbonara sauce. Take a medium sized mixing bowl and add three large eggs to it. Next pour in about a half a cup or so of heavy cream. Pour like maybe 2 or tablespoons of olive oil. Then add a healthy amount of salt and pepper to the mixture for seasoning. Now whisk the shit out of it until it’s like a creamy mixture of some sort.
Out next step is to combine everything. First take the pasta and mix it into the bacon and shallot pan. After that is all good and mixed, take the sauce and pour it over the pasta and mix it so that you have mostly coated all the pasta that you have. Remove from heat and enjoy.
Oh wait, I forgot, when you’re making the sauce, you can add in some shredded Parmesan to get a nice flavor for the pasta. So do that if you feel like it, or not, your choice.
Anyway, that’s my recipe for Bastard Carbonara. I hope it brings you joy in this mixed up world. I guess for ease of use I should put a components list somewhere here so you can be a little prepared. Also, I just remembered, when you’re adding the pasta to the bacon pan, throw in like 3 tablespoons of butter to help get a creamy texture going before the sauce.
Components:
1 Shallot, diced
1/2 pound bacon, cut however you like, but thin strips work best
garlic, as much or as little as you want
3 packs of ramen, or 1 package of actual good pasta, probably like the 16 oz package or something.
3 eggs
1/2 cup or so of heavy cream
~2 tbsp olive oil
Salt, your choice
As much pepper as you can handle
3 tbsp butter
Bison Musings 