Realization

I apologize if it seems like I’m posting too much lately, because truth be told, I am. I’ve just been in a funk recently. Which of course, if you’ve been following my updates, you know what I’ve been dealing with. And yeah, it’s not pretty. But that’s what I’ve come to expect.

Anyway, you’re probably wondering what it is I’m here for this time. Which is always a valid question when it comes to me. And honestly, I don’t have anything new to report. I’m still in the same state that I’ve been. Though I may have come to the conclusion that one of the many reasons that I’m single are my crippling fears of rejection and the fact that I shut down when I’m faced with a person that I find attractive. I’m telling you, it’s not pretty. So yeah, that’s where I am with it. I know I can get over it, but I’ve just got to work with it. Here’s hoping that I’ll find my way someday.

But before I go, I want to leave you with a poem. I’m not sure of the title, maybe something like, “23rd Dilemma.” You know what, I like that, that’s what we’re going with. So here’s the 23rd Dilemma, enjoy.

It’s always tough, coming to terms
with your past failures
reminders of who you aren’t
the Realizations hit like a brick

leaving you gasping for air
trying to hang onto any semblance
of you

And yet, clear as day
you see her
that one dream that haunts you
that one dream that taunts you

23 is all you’re left with
I know what it entails
so do you, even weak and frail

a Memory of love gone,
of love past,
of love found,
of love lost,

all of it, squandered,
by yours truly,

myself

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