Turts

Turtles. Who are they? Why are they so turtlish? And what came first, the candy or the animal? These are the questions that plagued the early dinosaur empire. You see, the dinosaurs knew that they were related to these great beasts, however distantly it may be.

Though I think it stands to mention that turtles in these days were not the small creatures that we know today. And yes, you are correct in pointing out that there are still species of turtle that are slightly larger than the average ones of today. However, these turtles were much larger than the specimens of today. These turtles were the equivalent of battle tanks. And much like battle tanks, these turtles in many different varieties. You had your run of the mill tank turtles, which didn’t excel at any particular aspect too much. They knew their job, and they got it done. What more could you ask from a turtle battle tank?

It wasn’t until the dinosaurs saw these monsters in action, that they realized they had a truly magnificent beast on their hands. The dinosaurs employed these tanks against the moocows in the fifth moocow-dinosaur war. This war was an interesting one as it allowed for the conception of siege weaponry. Primarily trebuchets and the like, however the dinosaur turtle tanks had seen widespread adoption in this era.

The moocows recognized the danger of this new unchecked dinosaur weapon. They knew that they must come up with an appropriate counter to these tanks should they want to live on in this new modern era of technology and destruction. After months of research by their top engineers, the moocows had developed their answer to the tanks.

They had devised a method of combatting the turtles. You see, turtles, unlike the common belief, are not amphibians. They are simply reptiles. So to combat reptiles, the moocows developed a heat ray that would tire out the turtles, and prevent them from going down the path that they had originally set down. However, this is a small price to pay for the peace of mind and general chaos it caused the dinosaurs to discover that their precious tanks had been outdone by the moocows, yet again.